If What

Since I wasn't in class last week I'm not sure if we told each other what our hated book is. Mine is actually a cookbook by Gordon Ramsay called Fast Food. I don't hate it's content exactly, actually I've never read it (cooked from it?). I have an associate's degree in visual communications, and it's the design of the book I hate. It's choices of type and color is just all over the place, and there's no cohesive element. I mean, even if you didn't have a design degree I don't think you'd even like the design. Because of that, I looked in it once and was like "no thank you" and it's been gathering dust ever since. Figured now was a good time to do something fun and positive with something I don't like.

 I also choose it because I got rid of all the textbooks I resented long ago.

1. I burn it
2. I burn it and mail it back to Gordon.
3. I cook it's pages.
4. I sell it to some poor schmuck.
5. I cut out parts of it to make a ransom note to send to Gordon.
6. I go to a mental institution and claim the book is holding me ransom.
7. I let my dog chew the paper out of it, because she likes chewing paper for some reason. Not lying. The dog ate my homework was a legit excuse for me. She likes newspaper most.
8. I draw in it.
9. God forbid, I actually cook a recipe from it.
10. I tear out it's pages and practice origami.
11. I let a kid have fun and color all over it.
12. I mark out certain words to transform the meaning of the page and make a whole new story from it.
13. I draw on all it's corners to make a flip book.
14. I relate this one to number 1, and wait to use it in winter when we light the fireplace.
15. I cut out designs on each page to make one huge design.
16. I make one of those paper face collages.
17. I make this.
18. I put it into a time capsule and let the next generation deal with it.
19. I do some weird DIY project with it.
20. I doodle in it.
21. I make a fleet of paper planes.
22. I let my dad shoot it.
23. I read through the recipe and create an animated short from it on how to make the food (yeah, this will never happen).
24. I cut out pieces to hide stuff in, like the remote.
25. I storyboard for another class in it.
26. My friends want to do a craft night for I don't know why, so scrap paper?
27. I make it into a photo album.
28. I write in it.
29. I white out the pages and write in it.
30. I white out the pages and draw in it.
31. If I was creative enough, I would make one of those paper sculptures.
32. I rip out a few pages and make a Burger King crown designed my way.
33. I cut out words to write letters to those I love.
34. Make one of those neat beehive patterns with the pages.
35. I put the book in acid.
36. I run over it a few times with my car. It needs character.
37. I donate the book to a restaurant.
38. I let someone allow their dog or cat to pee or poop on it.
39. I put it under a bed and claim it's the monster under the bed.
40. I put it in the oven and turn it on, because...well, oops.
41. I do not believe it can be flushed in the state it currently is in.
42. I accidentally left it some where.
43. I shipped it to some random person in China. Would it get through customs?
44. I walk up to some random tree, leave the book, and apologize that they killed one of their own to create this book.
45. I cry at it telling it how disappointed it made me and that I needed to go to therapy.
46. Alter the book?
47. Do people really come up with 50 of these?
48. Please refer back to the previous 47.
49. I rewrite all these on the first 48 pages.
50. I do nothing with the book and it stays the lame book it is on the shelf.